1. He has a post-sex recovery routine comparable to most professional athletes. If he needs to chug Gatorade and ice his glutes after havi...
1. He has a post-sex recovery routine comparable to most professional athletes.If he needs to chug Gatorade and ice his glutes after having sex, then the sex has got to be pretty intense.
2. He's had multiple orgasms in one session. This is seriously impressive. Do you know what the refractory period is like for men? This is like making his penis run a marathon, and then his penis somehow still has the energy to be like, "Hell yeah, I got one more marathon in me. Let's do this."
3. He falls asleep immediately afterward. Believe it or not, this is a compliment. He's so exhausted and happy because you sexed him into a deep, relaxing sleep.
4. He's driven through blizzards to get to your place. If your governor declared a state of emergency and he was like, "Nah, I'm going to risk my life for some sex," then it has to be pretty good (although he could just be super desperate). NOTE: This does not count if he has four-wheel drive and there was less than a foot of snow.
5. You go for eight hours nonstop. You know, people say that pizza is like sex because "even bad pizza is still good." But I don't know anyone that's eaten bad pizza for eight hours straight.
6. He says, "Hey, that was the best sex I've ever had." I don't know, he sounds pretty trustworthy to me. I'd take him at face value.
7. He has a giant, goofy smile on his face afterward. You can't fake that grin. That's the grin of a man who had the best sex of his life.
8. When you Netflix and chill, and you make a move, he never tells you "No, wait, this is the good part." No matter what movie it is.
9. He never tries to rush the foreplay. Because he wants to enjoy every second. When Drake said, "Sometimes it's the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination," he was definitely talking about sex.
10. You've really forced him to innovate his sex game. You've taught him new positions so ambitious he needs to stretch first, and you maybe even introduced a few new fetishes along the way. You've created a sex monster.
11. He was a virgin until five minutes ago. You are his de facto sex champion. Congratulations!
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